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Buck Naked

  1. Roadrunner
  2. Lilac Girl
  3. King of Bedside Manor
  4. Trouble With Tracy
  5. Great Provider
  6. Night Photographs
  7. Make My Heart Fly
  8. Really Don't Know
  9. Be My Yoko Ono
  10. Psycho Killer
  11. Rudi, a Message to You
  12. If I Had $1000000
  13. Wishing Well
  14. Careless
  15. How's the Level?


"We kept (the demo). It was such a distinctive name, we never forgot them."
-Craig Reid of the Proclaimers ("BNL Connection Helps Long-Overdue Proclaimers Album" by Paul Cantin, Jam! Showbiz, May 7, 2001)

Released: 1989

The infamous, original Barenaked Ladies demo was recorded in Steve's basement. The tape features just Steve and Ed singing and playing acoustic guitar, keyboard and tambourine. The tape was sold at very early ladies shows.

Cover songs and the original artists:

Road Runner- old cartoon theme song
Make My Heart Fly- Proclaimers
     (BNL actually played this with The Proclaimers at the last few shows of the 2001 summer tour.*)
Psycho Killer- Talking Heads
A Message to You Rudy- The Specials
Wishing Well- Terance Trent D´arby

Songs that appeared on later BNL albums:

The King of Bedside Manor- Gordon
Be My Yoko Ono- Gordon
If I Had a Million Dollars- Gordon
Great Provider- Maybe You Should Drive

The exact number of tapes in circulation is unknown. Ed says it's about 600, but Steve says it's closer to 150. When asked if Buck Naked would ever be released commercially, Steve said, "No...Maybe we will release highlights but they are not recordings we are particularly proud of, except for historical reasons.1" But then again, he also said "McDonald's Girl" would never be played again.

*to the lucky bastards that saw this- die.

1Sonicnet Chat July 16. 1998



Roadrunner

I'm Steve
and I'm Ed
and we're Bare-naked-Ladies!

You're on a highway and roadrunner goes beep-beep
Just step aside or you might end up in a heap
Roadrunner, roadrunner, runs on the road all day
Even the Coyote can't make him change his ways

Roadrunner that coyote's after you
Roadrunner if he catches you you're through

That coyote's really a crazy clown
When will he learn that he never can hold you down?
Roadrunner, roadrunner never bothers anyone
Runnin' down the road is his idea of having fun

Roadrunner that coyote's after you
Roadrunner if he catches you you're through

Roadrunner (roadrunner) that coyote's after you
Roadrunner if he catches you you're through

If he catches you you're through, if he catches you you're through
If he catches you you're through.



Lilac Girl

My lilac girl

Only you can turn my eloquence to banality,
Only you can make importancies into trivialities
Only you can cure this malady
Only you can make me swoon

My lilac girl..oh

La la la la laa laa la etc.
Lilac Girl

La la la la laa la la etc. 
Lilac Girl

She brushes her hair
She climbs down the stairs
Suddenly she's aware that she's beautiful
She look so delicious,
As she's washing the dishes
Suddenly she wishes just like 
all the fishes in the sea that she was with me

She was with me, oh woah

La la la la laa la la la 
Lilac Girl

La la la la laa la la la (Repeat)

I may lie like a rug
But I mean it when I say
That I wanna lie down next to you
I may lie like a rug
But I mean it when I say
You're my lilac girl

Only you can turn my eloquence to banality,
Only you can make importancies into trivialities
Only you can cure this malady
Only you can make me swoon

Lilac Girl 

La la la la laa la la la
Lilac Girl

Only you can make me scream
Only you can make me scream
Only you can make me scream



King of Bedside Manor

You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet.
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared,
He's the most peculiar man you'd care to meet.

You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He's not the Tom Jones who lives next door.
He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there anymore. 

He says excuse me I hope you don't mind that I followed you into this shop
But I couldn't help noticing that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack
Um, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback

He's subtle on the dance floor and he's suave around the bar
He's a quick draw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star
You know he was quite a singer quite An actor quite some time ago.
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime TV show.

You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He's not the Tom Jones who lives next door.
He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there any more. 

Well, he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane,
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain.

You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He's not the Tom Jones who lives next door.
He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there any more. 

He's not the king of bedside manor
He's not the king of bedside manor
Hardly even lives there any more

Styx!
Domo arigato Mr. Roboto 

He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king
Of bedside manor



Trouble With Tracy

Tracy does her liquor with her dad and all is well
She's upset and I wanted to lick the honey from her navel

She's upset and I wanted to lick that honey

And that's the trouble with Tracy
She never seemed to do what she is told 
With Tracy, things aren't always under control

Your breasts are like a pomegranate split open
I said and I knew that I loved you
I said it and I knew that I loved you

And that's the trouble with Tracy
You know she never seems to do what she's told
With Tracy things aren't always under control

Yeah, with Tracy
She never seems to do what she's told
With Tracy,
Things aren’t always under control

Tracy is awake and her face that words 
She is in love and admits it hardly
She’s in love and admits it hardly to herself
To herself only

And that's the trouble with Tracy
You know she never seems to do what she is told

With Tracy, things aren't always under control
Yeah, with Tracy
She never seems to do what she is told

With Tracy, things aren't always under control
Yeah, with Tracy..
Yeah, with Tracy



Great Provider

You and I have been through this before
I owe you my whole life, nothing more
I never said that I liked you the most
You're my father, I'm your son, who's the Holy Ghost? 

Where does the time go when it's not around here?
Here we stand at the edge of the drive
I'm just waiting for my ride to arrive
I wait to see if you've any last words
We pulled away, I called your name, I don't think you heard. 

Where does the time go when it's not around here?
I don't know
Where does the time go when it's not around here?

You and I never shared all that much
When I leave I'll be all right, I'll keep in touch
As your road narrows, so mine grows wider
As I leave I turn and wave to the Great Provider 

Where does the time go when it's not around here?
I don't know
Where does the time go when it's not around here?



Night Photographs

At night I like to photograph, printed camera images
And I don't have a flash, but my little notebook
Records the subjects you have

Photo 1, a flower
Photo 2, a barenaked boy and girl
Photo 3 is my dog in the backyard

Oh, Each frame captures the varied subtleties of black, 
Each frame captures the varied subtleties of black,
Subleties of black, subtleties of black.

Photo 1, a flower
Photo 2, a barenaked boy and girl
Photo 3 is my dog in the backyard

Oh, Each frame captures the varied subtleties of black, 
Each frame captures the varied subtleties of black,
Subleties of black, subtleties of black

At night I like to photograph, printed camera images
And I don't have a flash, but my little notebook
It records the subjects you have

Photo 1, a flower
Photo 2, a barenaked boy and girl
Photo 3 is my dog in the backyard


Oh, Each frame captures the varied subtleties of black, 
Each frame captures the varied subtleties of black,
Subleties of black, subtleties of black

[Note: In some versions "Photo 2, a barenaked boy and girl" is changed to "Photo 2, a drunk and naked girl"]



Make My Heart Fly

Please don't go rushing by
stay and make my heart fly
Please don't go rushing by
stay and make my heart fly

I never seem to know the time
When you're with me
You can tell it to the birds
I'll tell the bees

Please don't go rushing by
Stay and make my heart fly

I can't do anymore
To get inside your door
I can't do anymore
Please let me inside your door

I never seem to know the time
When you're with me
You can tell it to the birds
I'll tell the bees

Please don't go rushing by
Stay and make my heart fly
Stay and make my heart fly
Stay and make my heart fly



Really Don't Know

I'm well aware there's a bit of a problem..

Where is this thing that I call heaven?
What is it doing here on earth?
Who is this holding my umbrella?
Who is this looking up your skirt?

You always wear it with a sense of style,
I like to wear it with a smirk
You make me wait for just a little while
I open up my mouth and yell

I'm home, you're home I'm all alone
Why can't I call you on the phone?
I really don't know
I'm home, you're home, we’re all alone
Why can't I call you on the phone?

You always wear it with a sense of style
I like to wear it with a skirt
I'll be okay in just a little while
And open my big mouth and yell

Did you laugh? 
Did you cry?
Did you say my name with a bit of a sigh? 
I really don't know
Did you laugh? Did you cry?
Did you say my name with a bit of a sigh?

Take off, to the great white north
Take off, it's a beauty way to go
Take off, to the great white north
Take off, it's a beauty way to go

Where is this thing that I call heaven?
Did you laugh at that?

What is it doing here on earth?
Did you cry?
Who is this holding my umbrella?
Did you say my name with a sigh?
Who is this looking up your skirt?



Be My Yoko Ono

If there's someone you can live 
without, then do so
If there's someone you can
just shove out, then do so

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, 
Be my Yoko Ono

Isn't it beautiful to see two people 
So much in love?
Barenaked as two virgins hand in 
Hand and hand in hand in glove
Now that I'm far away it doesn't 
seem to me to be such a pain
To have you hanging off my ankle 
like some ball and chain.

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, 
be my Yoko Ono

Oh no, here we go,
Our life is just one big pun.
Ono, here we go as Yoko sings
Aieee!

I know that when I say this
I might be stepping on pins and needles
But I don't like all these people slagging her
For breaking up the Beatles
Don't blame it on Yokey
If I was John and you were Yoko
I would gladly give up musical genius
Just to have you as my very own
Personal Venus


(Hit it)


You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, 
be my Yoko Ono

Whoa ohhhhhh



Psycho Killer

Can't seem to face up to the facts,
I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax
I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire,
Don't touch me, I'm a real live wire

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

You start a conversation you can't even finish it
You're talkin' a lot, but you're aren't sayin' anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

Ce que j'ai fais, ce soir la
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir la
Realisant mon espoir
Je me lance, que la fois ... OK
We are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they're not polite

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away



Rudi, a Message to You

Stop your messing around
Better think of your future
Time you straighten right out
Creatin' problems in town

Rudy,
A message to you, Rudy
A message to you, Rudy
A message to you, Rudy

Stop your messing around
You better think of your future
Time you straighten right out
Or else you’ll wind up in jail

Rudy,
A message to you, Rudy
A message to you, Rudy
A message to you, Rudy

That’s right
That’s right
That’s right
That’s right
A message to you, Rudy
A message to you, Rudy

Stop your messing around
You better think of your future
Time you straighten right out
In this problem town

That’s right
That’s right
That’s right
That’s right
A message to you, Rudy
A message to you, Rudy etc..



If I Had $1000000

If I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love. 

If I had a $1000000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had $1000000
Maybe we could put a refrigerator in there
Wouldn't that be fabulous.

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Like a llama or an emu)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(All them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love. 

If I had a $1000000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more.
If I had a $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would. We'd actually make the treefort from the first chorus out of it.


If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey?) 

If I had $1000000
I’d buy your love

If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
I'd be rich.



Wishing Well

Kissing like a bandit stealing time
Underneath the sycamore tree
Cupid by the hour sends valentines
To my sweet lover and me

Slowly, surely
Yours appetite is more than I knew

Slowly, softly
I'm falling in love with you

Wish me love a wishing well to kiss and tell
A wishing well of butterfly tears (come on)

Wish me love a wishing well to kiss and tell
A wishing well of crocodile tears (hey)

Hugging like a monkey see monkey do
Right beside a riverboat gambler
Erotic images float through my head
Said I wanna be, I wanna be your midnight rambler

Slowly, maybe kinda quickly
The blood races through my veins

Quickly, loudly
I wanna hear those sugar bells ring

Wish me love a wishing well to kiss and tell
A wishing well of butterfly tears (come on!)
Wish me love a wishing well to kiss and tell
A wishing well of butterfly tears (oh baby!)

(Wishing well)

Wish me love a wishing well to kiss and tell
(Wishing well)
A wishing well of butterfly tears
(Wishing well)
Wish me love a wishing well to kiss and tell
(Wishing well)
A wishing well of crocodile tears
(Wishing well)
Wish me love a wishing well

(Wishing well)

Wish me love a wishing well to kiss and tell
(Wishing well)
A wishing well of butterfly tears
(Wishing Well)



Careless

I guess I lied to you when I told you I like baseball
It's not so much the game I like it's the hats
See this white band around my neck? 
It's not just fashion
Hartz made it to protect me from ticks, fleas, and gnats

I couldn't care less what's in a chocolate mousse
I couldn't care less what are the five fruits in five alive juice
I couldn't care less how old are Ernie and Bert
I couldn't care less what's under KD Lang's skirt

Well, Shaggy said to Velma "Hey now, Velma how you doing?"
And Velma said "Jinkies, Shag I'm fine."
Then Daphne said to Fred "Hey let's get drunk down in the forest"
And all night Fred was yakking up red wine

I couldn't care less why was Fonzie cool
I couldn't care less are the sweat hogs still in school?
I couldn't care less how do they fill the Caramilk bar
I couldn't care less if my car says "the door, is ajar"

I wish I had a nickname like Crusher, Snake or Kenneth
Cause guys with nicknames always get the gals
When I grow up I'll name my children Alice Albert and Alfred
I'll call them for supper like this, "Dinner's ready, Al's!"

I couldn't care less what Morton Downey says
I couldn't care less what's on the head of my Pez
I couldn't care less of Zoodles need a trained zookeeper?
I couldn't care less why's the Super Big Gulp cheaper?
No really, that's ridiculous.

I couldn't care less how old are Ernie and Bert?
[Well, they're like 4 or something, or maybe their like 40 'cause they live together without any parents without getting in trouble]
I couldn't care less where does Barney Rubble work?
[Nobody knows]
I couldn't care less etc..

[Note: They're are several different versions of this song]



How's the Level?

How's the Level?