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Disc One: All Their Greatest Hits 1991-2001

  1. The Old Apartment
  2. Falling for the First Time
  3. Brian Wilson
  4. One Week
  5. Be My Yoko Ono
  6. Alternative Girlfriend
  7. It's Only Me (The Wizard of Magicland)
  8. If I Had $1000000
  9. Call and Answer
  10. Get in Line
  11. It's All Been Done
  12. Jane
  13. Lovers in a Dangerous Time
  14. Pinch Me
  15. Shoebox
  16. What a Good Boy
  17. Too Little Too Late
  18. Enid
  19. Thanks, that was Fun


"It just means we are now officially old. We are in our 30s, we have 10 years of records behind us. Okay, guys, let's start golfing."
-Steve ("Barenaked Ladies plan B-sides set, DVD" Paul Cantin, 11/08/01 JAM! Showbiz)

Released: November 13, 2001

Producer (of the new tracks): Jim Scott

While some fans cried "Box Set," Barenaked Ladies released a greatest hits album- Disc One: All their Greatest Hits (1991-2001). However, according to Steve, the purpose of the album wasn't to anger fans who help fund the Ladies' kids' college education: "There was a provision in our contract for a greatest hits. We thought, let's do one now, rather than wait for the contract end in a couple of years and have them put it together."

All of the songs on the disc were released as singles sometime during the ladies' career. All tracks have accompanying videos except for "If I had a Million Dollars" which was an "unofficial single" that got substantial radio airplay in the late 90's.

Two new tracks, "It's Only Me [the Wizard of Magicland]" and "Thanks, that was Fun," are featured on the album and were recorded at Phase One Studio in Toronto. Two other songs ("I Can, I Will, I Do" and "I Don't Get It Anymore") were recorded as well, and they are expected to surface at a later date.

The miscellaneous doodles on the liner notes were drawn by Kevin, and Steve offers written track by track commentary.

And yes, the name of the album is referencing "Box Set." Once again, Steve sheds some light on the situation: "'Disc One, it's where we've begun, it is all our Greatest Hits.' It's just like back in 1992, it was calling my own bluff, because I knew that in 15 years, I would be doing my own box set, if I was lucky…By calling it "Disc One," it is a message to our fans, saying yes, we have sold out, but we still know where we came from."

(All quotes on this page are from "Barenaked Ladies plan B-sides set, DVD" Paul Cantin, 11/08/01 JAM! Showbiz)



The Old Apartment
(Page/Robertson)

Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live

Why did you paint the walls?
Why did you clean the floor?
Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door?
This is where we used to live

Why did you keep the mousetrap?
Why did you keep the dishrack?
these things used to be mine
I guess they still are, I want them back

Broke into the old apartment
Forty-two stairs from the street
Crooked landing, crooked landlord
Narrow laneway filled with crooks
This is where we used to live

Why did they pave the lawn?
why did they change the locks?
Why did I have to break it, I only came here to talk
This is where we used to live

How is the neighbor downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun
I know we don't live here anymore
We bought an old house on the Danforth
She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy there
But this is where we used to live

Broke into the old apartment
Tore the phone out of the wall
Only memories, fading memories
Blending into dull tableaux

I want them back



Falling for the First Time
(Page/Robertson)

I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser
I'm so smart, too bad I cant get anything figured out
I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby
I'm so fly, that's probably why it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

I'm so green, its really amazing
I'm so clean, too bad I can't get all this dirt off of me
I'm so sane, its driving me crazy
It's so strange, I can't believe it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has it's cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost a sense of time?
What if I nurse this infection? Maybe the worst is behind
And it feels just like I'm falling for the first time

I'm so chill, no wonder it's freezing
I'm so still, I just can't keep my fingers out of anything 
I'm so thrilled to finally be failing
I'm so done, turn me over cause it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

Anything plain can be lovely,anything loved can be lost
Maybe I lost my direction, what if our love is the cost?
Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost a sense of time?
What if I nurse this infection? Maybe the worst is behind



Brian Wilson
(Page)

Drove downtown in the rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night,
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane
When I'm surrounded I just can't stop.

It's a matter of instinct,
It's a matter of conditioning,
It's a matter of fact
You can call me Pavlov's dog
Ring a bell and I'll salivate -- how'd you like that
Dr. Landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue
'Cause right now I'm

Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did.

So I'm lying here
Just staring at the ceiling tiles,
And I'm thinking about what to think about.
Just listening and relistening to Smiley Smile
And I'm wondering if this is some kind of creative drought
Because I'm

Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did.

And if you want to find me I'll be out in the sandbox
Wondering where all the hell all the love has gone
Playing my guitar and building castles in the sun
And singing "Fun Fun Fun"

Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did.

I had a dream
That I was three hundred pounds
And though I was very heavy
I floated till I couldn't see the ground
I floated till I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me because I'm

Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did.

Drove downtown in the rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night,
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane
When I'm surrounded I just can't stop.



One Week
(Robertson)

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to one side
and said "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together come back and see me"
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me 
But it'll still be two days till I saw I'm sorry

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish,
although I like Chalet Swiss
And I like the sushi 
'cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes 
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me 
but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous, 
you'll have to sign a waiver
How can I help it if I think you're funny
when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind of my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air 
and said "You're crazy"
Five days since you tackled mde
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait
till you say you're sorry

Chickity China the Chinese chicken
Have a drum stick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford, I'm getting frantic
Like Sting, I'm tantric
Like snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

Like Kurasawa, I make mad films
Okay, I don't make films
But If I did they'd have a Samurai
Gonna get a set of better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my irons aren't always flying 
off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
'Cause the cartoon has got 
the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing

How can I help it if I think you're funny
when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind of my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides
and said "I'm sorry"
Five days since I laughed at you and said
"You just did just what I thought you were gonna do"
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame,
but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
'Cause it'll still be two days 
till we say we're sorry



Be My Yoko Ono
(Page/Robertson)

If there's someone you can live 
without, then do so
If there's someone you can
just shove out, then do so

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, 
Be my Yoko Ono

Isn't it beautiful to see two people 
So much in love?
Barenaked as two virgins hand in 
Hand and hand in hand in glove
Now that I'm far away it doesn't 
seem to me to be such a pain
To have you hanging off my ankle 
like some ball and chain.

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, 
be my Yoko Ono

Oh no, here we go,
Our life is just one big pun.
Ono, here we go as Yoko sings
Aieee!

I know that when I say this
I might be stepping on pins and needles
But I don't like all these people slagging her
For breaking up the Beatles
Don't blame it on Yokey
If I was John and you were Yoko
I would gladly give up musical genius
Just to have you as my very own
Personal Venus


(Hit it)


You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, 
be my Yoko Ono

Whoa ohhhhhh



Alternative Girlfriend
(Duffy/Page)

You're in an all-girl band
Your futon's second-hand
Your parents understand, but you don't care.
I have a job in a shop
I'm an undercover cop
I make sure the customers aren't thieves 

Old at being young

Young at being old
Everything's on hold within our evolution 

Chorus:
You're my alternative girlfriend
I love you, and now you cannot pretend
There's nothing left that won't cross over 

Last night we slept on the lawn
You woke up and I was gone
Back to the dream I dream to leave
My life with her is a bore
A worn-out metaphor
No more surprises up its sleeve 

We're old at being young, 

Young at being old
Everything's been sold to others' revolutions 

Chorus:
You're my alternative girlfriend
I love you, and now you cannot pretend
There's nothing left that won't cross over

You live above your dad's four-car garage
With your vinyl and imaginary entourage.
If I pull up in a U-Haul, pack up quick
So we can get out of this town, 'cause it makes me sick. 

Chorus:
You're my alternative girlfriend
I love you, and now you cannot pretend
There's nothing left that won't cross over



It's Only Me (The Wizard of Magicland)
(Page/Robertson)

*odd grunt*

Speaking as a guy who's really
Got it going on,
It's only natural,
It's only me.

Take it from a fella
Who's been 'round the block
So many times he's knows the only parking spot that's free.
It's only me.

You can say I've tried everything
I'd save on the wedding ring
Who knows me half as well as me?

I'm not anti-social
And it's nothing that's reproachful
It's just natural,
It's only me.

I can't think of anybody else I'd rather
Spend some one on one time with,
It's not that hard to see,
It's only me.

I'm the me in monogamy
I'm not asking a lot of me
I give me R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

And if your heart is broken
You can just do what you do best
You can just do what you do,
When your heart is broken
Trust in the one who loves you
Never put others above you

I thought I was using me
To get to you
But this is true.
I'm natural, it's only me.

They say you'll never love another
'Til you love yourself,
Well, brother I'm in love with everyone I see.
It's only me.

You could say I've tried every thing
I'd save on the wedding ring
Who knows me half as well as me?
I'm the me in monogamy
I'm not asking a lot of me
I give me R-E-S-P-E-C-T.



If I Had $1000000
(Page/Robertson)

If I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love. 

If I had a $1000000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had $1000000
Maybe we could put a refrigerator in there
Wouldn't that be fabulous.

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Like a llama or an emu)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(All them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love. 

If I had a $1000000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more.
If I had a $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would. We'd actually make the treefort from the first chorus out of it.


If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey?) 

If I had $1000000
I’d buy your love

If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
I'd be rich.



Call and Answer
(Duffy/Page)

I think it's getting to the point
where I can be myself again
I think it's getting to the point
where we have almost made amends
I think it's the getting to the point
that is the hardest part

and if you call, I will answer
and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

You think I only think about you
when we're both in the same room
You think I'm only here to witness
the remains of love exhumed
You think we're here to play
a game of who loves more than whom

and if you call, I will answer
and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

You think it's only fair to do what's
best for you and you alone
You think it's only fair to do the same
to me when you're not home
I think it's time to make this something that is
more than only fair

so if you call, I will answer
and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home.

But I'm warning you, don't ever do
those crazy, messed-up things that you do
If you ever do,
I promise you I'll be the first to crucity you
Now it's time to prove that you've come back
here to rebuild



Get in Line
(Page/Robertson)

Everywhere I go someone's
tryin' to by my girlfriend's best friend.
I try to pretend I'm relaxed,
but I'm playing castanets with my knees.

I try to be cool and give her space,
but a guy's always there ready
to jump right up and take my place.
Everyone in this room seems
to want to make a big fool out of me.

Everybody open your mouth,
(Everybody, everybody...)
Everybody just say "ahh".
(Ahh, ahh, ahh...)
Everything will be alright
if you play along.

Everywhere I go there's someone in a trenchcoat staring at me.
When I'm not at home I'm sure someone's
rumaging through my trash.
Whatever could they want from me?
Is it just a part of a giant government conspiracy?
I gotta go see my doctor about this itchy pentagram shaped rash.

Everybody open your mouth,
(Everybody, everybody..)
Everybody just say "ahh"
(Ahh, ahh, ahh..)
Everything will be alright
this won't hurt at all.

Everybody get in line,
(Everybody, everybody..)
Everybody turn and cough,
(Ahh, ahh, ahh..)
Everything will be alright,
if you just lay off.

Dictate a memo to myself,
Try to find if I'm the only one in complete health.
Consult contemporaries if there are some to see.
There really isn't anyone who's in my league

But me..

Every night at the lanes someone thinks
they've got a fine bead on me.
I try to take three deep breaths
as I lock and arm my mini-van.
Everyone says I'm looking great,
but it's hard to stand up
let alone to try to concentrate.

I wish that everyone I knew hadn't
sold out to the man.

Everybody open your mouth,
(Everybody, everybody..)
Everybody just say "ahh"
(Ahh, ahh, ahh..)
Everything will be alright
this won't hurt at all.

Everybody get in line,
(Everybody, everybody..)
Everybody turn and cough,
(Ahh, ahh, ahh..)
Everything will be alright,
if you just lay..
everything will be alright if you just lay..
everything will be alright if you just lay off.



It's All Been Done
(Page)

I met you before the fall of Rome
And I begged you to let me take you home
You were wrong, I was right
You said goodbye, I said goodnight

It's all been done
It's all been done
It's all been done before

I knew you before the west was won
And I heard you say the past
was much more fun
You go your way, I'll go mine
But I'll see you next time

It's all been done
It's all been done
It's all been done before

And if I put my fingers here, and if I say
"I love you, dear"
And if I play the same three chords,
will you just yawn and say
It's all been done before?

Alone and bored on a thirtieth-century night.
Will I see you on The Price Is Right?
Will I cry? Will I smile
As you run down the aisle.

It's all been done
It's all been done
It's all been done before



Jane
(Duffy/Page)

The girl works at the store, sweet Jane St. Clair.
Was dazzled by her smile while I shopped there.
It wasn't long before I lived with her.
I sang her songs while she dyed her hair.
Jane, divided, but I can't decide what side I'm on.
Jane decided only cowards stay, while traitors run.
Jane, Jane.

I'd bring her gold and frankincense and myrrh.
She thought that I was making fun of her.
She made me feel I was fourteen again.
That's why she thinks it's cooler if we'd just stay friends.
Jane doesn't think a man could ever be faithful.
Jane isn't giving me a chance to be shameful.
Jane, Jane.

I wrote her a letter, she should have got it yesterday.
That life could be better by being together.
Is what I cannot explain to Jane.

The girl works at the store sweet Jane St. Clair
Still dazzled by her smile while I shoplift there.
No promises as vague as Heaven.
No Juliana next to my Evan.
Jane, desired by the people at the school and work.
Jane, is tired, 'cause every man becomes a love sick jerk.
Jane, Jane.



Lovers in a Dangerous Time
(Bruce Cockburn)


Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by?
We never get to stop and open our eyes.
One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall
Next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all.

Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time


These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This fragrant skin, this hair like lace
Spirits open to thrust of grace,
Never a breath you can't afford to waste.


Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

When you're lovers in a dangerous time,
Sometimes you're made to feel your loves a crime.
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
You gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight.

Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

We were lovers in a dangerous time
We were lovers in a dangerous time...



Pinch Me
(Page/Robertson)

It’s the perfect time of year 
Somewhere far away from here 
I feel fine enough I guess 
Considering everything’s a mess 
There’s a restaurant down the street 
Where hungry people like to eat 
I could walk but I’ll just drive 
It’s colder than it looks outside 

It’s like a dream you try to remember but it’s gone 
Then you try to scream, but it only comes out as a yawn 
When you try to see the world beyond your front door 
Take your time, 'cause the way I rhyme's 
Gonna make you smile 
When you realize that a guy my size might take awhile 
Just to try to figure out what all this is for 
It’s the perfect time of day 
To throw all your cares away 
Put the sprinkler on the lawn 
And run through with my gym shorts on 
Take a drink right from the hose 
Change into some drier clothes 
Climb the stairs up to my room 
And sleep away the afternoon 

It’s like a dream you try to remember but it’s gone 
Then you try to scream, but it only comes out as a yawn 
When you try to see the world beyond your front door 
Take your time, 'cause the way I rhyme's 
Gonna make you smile 
When you realize that a guy my size might take awhile 
Just to try to figure out what all this is for

Pinch me, pinch me 'cause I’m still asleep 
Please God tell me that I’m still asleep 

On an evening such as this [Yo] 
It’s hard to tell if I exist [Yo, I exist]
If I Pack the car and leave this town 
Who’ll notice that I’m not around? 
I could hide out under there 
I just made you say underwear 
I could leave, but I’ll just stay 
All my stuff’s here anyway 

It’s like a dream you try to remember but it’s gone 
Then you try to scream, but it only comes out as a yawn 
When you try to see the world beyond your front door 
Take your time, 'cause the way I rhyme's 
Gonna make you smile 
When you realize that a guy my size might take awhile 
Just to try to figure out what all this is for



Shoebox
(Page/Robertson)

A key in the door, a step on the floor,
A note on the table, and a meal in the micro
Note says "I'm in bed, please make sure that you're fed
if you're taking a shower, you can borrow my bathrobe
When I'm asleep I dream you move in next week"
I crumple the note and save it to put inside

My shoe box
Shoe box of lies

It's under my bed, it's never been read
It's in with my school stuff and my mom never cleans there
From my first little fib, when I still wore a bib
To my latest attempt at pretending I'm someone
Who's not seventeen, doesn't know what you mean
When talk turns to single malts, or stilton, or

My shoe box
Shoe box of lies
Shoe box
Shoe box of lies

Did somebody tell you
This is how it's supposed to be?
Or did you just find it
And you don't want any more from me?

My shoe box
Shoe box of lies
Shoe box
Shoe box of lies

Was it something I said, or was it something you read
That's making me think that I should never have come here
I can offer you lies, I can tell you good-bye, 
I can tell you I'm sorry, but I can't tell you the truth, dear
And what if I could - would it do any good?
You'll still never get to see the contents of 

My shoe box
Shoe box of lies
Shoe box
Shoe box of lies

You're so nineteen-ninety
And it's nineteen-ninety-four
Leave this world behind me
'Cause you don't want me anymore



What a Good Boy
(Page/Robertson)

When I was born, they looked at me and said
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy
And when you were born, they looked at you and said
What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl

We've got these chains that hang around our necks,
People want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls we just look away.

This name is the hairshirt I wear,
And this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
Bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me
Be with me tonight
I know that it isn't right
But be with me tonight

I go to school, I write exams
If I pass, if I fail, if I drop out, does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget
'Cause it won't take much for me to show that my life ain't over yet

I wake up scared, I wake up strange
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
And everything around me stays the same

This name is the hairshirt I wear,
And this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
Bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me
Be with me tonight
I know that it isn't right
But be with me tonight

I couldn't tell you that I was wrong
Chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song
I couldn't tell you that you were right
So instead I looked in the mirror watched tv laid awake all night


We've got these chains that hang around our necks,
People want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls...


This name is the hairshirt I wear,
And this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
Bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me
Be with me tonight
I know that it isn't right
But be with me tonight


When I was born, they looked at me and said
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy
And when you were born, they looked at you and said
What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey.



Too Little Too Late
(Page/Robertson)

You say, "Why does everything revolve around you?"
You say, "Why does everything I do confound you?"
You say that I pulled the world from under you
You can't go through it this time

And I can be good, and I would - If I knew I was understood
And it'll be great, just wait - Or is it too little too late?

One day, this embarrassment will fade behind me
And that day I could think of things that won't remind me
But these days it's unbearable for both of us,
We can't discuss it this way

I'm gaining strength, trying to learn to pull my own weight
But I'm gaining pounds at the precipice of too late
Just wait

And I can be good, and I would - If I knew I was understood
And it'll be great, just wait - Or is it too little too late?

Record and play, after years of endless rewind
Yesterday wasn't half as tough as this time
This time isn't Hell,
Last time, couldn't tell
This mind wasn't well 
Next time, hope I'm...

Going to be good, and I would-
If I knew I was understood 
And it'll be great, just wait- 
Or is it too little too late?



Enid
(Page/Robertson)

"The silence, the terror, the pain, the horror
As your mom comes downstairs"

Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
It took me a year to believe it was over
and it took me two more to get over the loss.
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters
and every time I remembered the taste of your lipgloss.

Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway.
but Enid we really never knew each other anyway.

There were times when I wanted to hurt you,
And there were times when I know that I did.
There were times when I thought I would kill you,
but can you blame me I was only a kid.

Tell me why we never really respected each other
and tell me why I never believed you were a person too
I always thought that you fancied my brother.
I may not have liked it, oh but memory is a stranage thing, oh
And Enid?
Enid I remember you.

Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway.
but Enid we really never knew each other anyway.

It took me a year to believe it was over
and it took me two more to get over the loss.
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters
and every time you told me to get lost.

Now it's not fair to say that it's 'cause I was three inches shorter then,
and it's not fair to say it's 'cause I was only fifteen years old.
But maybe it's fair to say there was a lack of communication;
I took a phone message, oh and speaking of communication, oh,
And Enid, 
Enid you caught a cold.

I can get a job, I can pay the phone bills
I can cut the lawn, cut my hair, cut out my cholesterol
I can work overtime, I can work in a mine
I can do it all for you,
But I don't want to.

Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway.
but Enid we really never knew each other anyway.

[Ed's "Secret Verse"]
I can teach you how to dance, how to sing, how to knit,
How to make things that you never ever made before
Enid, I can teach you how to use cookie cutters
To make crazy things out of Play-Doh
Little houses, little farms, little accessories for your mom,
For your Barbie set, for your friends and your family
Enid, I can teach you how to snowmobile, cross-country ski, snowshoe,
But I don't want to!

Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway.
but Enid we really never knew each other anyway.

Enid we never really knew each other anyway.



Thanks, that was Fun
(Page/Robertson)


I'm learning, I'm yearning
I'm burning, all your stuff
But that's not enough.
I'm faking, that I'm aching
Mistaking lust for love.

Thanks, that was fun
Don't forget, no regrets
Except maybe one.

Did I scare you?
When I dared you?
I stared you in the eye
And told you goodbye.

You mock me,
It shocked me,
When you walked me to the bus.

Thanks, that was fun
Don't forget, no regrets
Except maybe one.
Made a deal not to feel
God, that's dumb

Everybody knows the deal fell through.
I was hoping I could just blame you.
When was it that I became so soft?
This sentimentality doesn't look good on me.
I thought that you would be begging to be with me.
I'm the one on my knees blubbering please let me stay.

Deflated, and jaded.
I hated when you called which isn't at all.
I've spoken, though broken.
Here's a token of my love.

Thanks, that was fun
Don't forget, no regrets
Except maybe one.
Made a deal not to feel
God, that was dumb
Don't forget, no regrets
Except maybe one.
Made a deal not to feel
Thanks, that was fun.